


i love you's

by prxmqueen



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Lucifer Feels, Post-Season/Series 04, Sad Chloe Decker, Sad Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:00:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25278898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prxmqueen/pseuds/prxmqueen
Summary: my take on that deckerstar scene from the lucifer season five trailer.
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 18
Kudos: 226





	i love you's

**Author's Note:**

> y'all i- i had to lmao. pls let me know if you enjoy it! this one goes out to luci's lil sluts <3 y'all know who you are. (kinda drop you guys into the middle of a scene but you'll catch on lol) (and apologize if there are grammar mistakes, i wrote this so fast lmao)

“Lucifer,” she whispered, taking her hands and placing it over his larger ones. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to say things that you don’t feel anymore.” She felt the tears starting to rise in her eyes, threatening to fall, but she blinked immediately. Even though her heart felt stomped on, she didn’t want him to feel that way. He couldn’t. He didn’t deserve any of this. “Michael told me how long it was for you down there.” She refused to say the name, Hell. It felt like venom on her tongue. She’d never even been there before, but dreaded the place more than she thought possible. Dreaded it because he did. Because he had no other choice but to recoil back down there, to sit among the worst of the worst. He didn’t deserve any of that. She felt his fingers twitch under her hands, like he wanted to react but couldn’t move his limbs. His face had the same look. His upper lip twitched, like it was just begging to say something, anything, but his brain wouldn’t let him. His eyes were wide and pouring into hers. She grasped her tiny hand around his and forced herself to stare into his eyes, to try her absolute hardest to convey to him that it was okay. “Lucifer, I’m past lying to myself about how I feel. I’m past lying to you. I never stopped loving you. I still feel the same way about you just as I did the night you left.” She heard him take in a sharp breath, his chest moving under his shirt from the sudden movement. “But,” she felt the first tear spill, the stream hot on her cheek, “I know that things have changed for you. After I found out about Michael, I realized how selfish I was being. I couldn’t just assume that everything was okay. As much as I wanted it to happen, we weren’t going to be able to just pick up right where we left off. And I’m sorry that I did that to you, assumed you were going to be okay. I should’ve known better, I-“

She stopped when she felt his hands move under hers. They grasped hers, locking them in a strong cage. He didn’t say anything, but Chloe knew what he meant. To stop blaming herself. But how could she?

She shook her head as another tear fell. It bounced off her cheek and fell onto his pant-leg. The penthouse was dark, the only light coming from the blue lights behind the bar, but she watched as the moisture soaked into the expensive fabric, creating a larger mark than she thought it would. Lucifer was still staring at her with his wide eyes, not even noticing what she was staring at.

“Lucifer, I just wanted you to know that, um,” she sniffled and tried to control her breathing, before she broke down completely in front of him. “I needed you to know that I understand and it’s okay if you feel differently. Please, don’t feel guilty for not feeling the same way anymore. But I still love you, and I don’t know if I can stop.”

She moved her eyes back up to his, desperate to feel what he was feeling. His eyes were deep, like Chloe could jump into them and hide away for hours and hours. He didn’t even blink. He looked terrified, of what, Chloe had no idea. But she hated that. She hated that he never found the happiness he so deserved. She wished more than anything that she could just give it to him. His jaw was locked, the bones flexed underneath his cheek. Chloe reached up slowly, careful not to startle him, which was so easy these days, to stroke his stubble there. Her fingers grazed over it like it could collapse under her touch. He was soft and warm to the touch. She longed to keep her hand there forever, to forever be able to idly touch his beautiful skin, just to marvel at it. But she couldn’t anymore. She had her chance. The time was lost.

She retreated her hand back, her other one moving out of his grasp and into her lap. She wiped a tear that had rebelled and fallen down her cheek. She tried to do it subtly, but she knew he saw it. He was still staring at her.

“It’s getting late,” she said. She actually didn’t know what the time was, but she just had to get out of there. She made sure her voice was quiet, worried it might crack. She refused to let him see her break down. She’d wait till the elevator doors closed. She’d shrivel up into a ball and sit there to rot, much like she did the night he left. “I should head home, but, um,” she sniffled again, “call me tomorrow if you hear anything about Michael, please.” She kept her head down, but brushed her hand over his shoulder as she walked to the elevator, too weak to resist. With each step she took towards the doors, her heart seemed heavier and heavier, sinking deep into her chest. It was over. They were really over. Just as her pointer finger brushed the down button, he spoke.

“Chloe.”

She almost didn’t recognize the voice, it felt like she hadn’t actually heard it in so long. She swallowed and squeezed her eyes shut before she turned around to face him, demanding herself to hold it together for just a few more seconds. She slowly spun on her feels to face him, only turning her body a little so she could make a quick run for it if her body rebelled her.

He was standing, his usual tall and proud bravado, but the look on his face made him look small. Scared. But he also had this other look, a determined one. Like he was about to say what he’d been trying to this whole time. And he did.

“I never said it back that night. Although I regret many things when it comes to us, that was the one thing that I regretted most. Not saying the words back to you. Denying you that. Not giving you what you deserve to hear…”

Now Chloe was the one with the wide-eyed look. Her tears were no longer brewing, but her eyes stung from not blinking, scared that if she blinked he would disappear and the moment would be over.

“I’m in love with you. I’m still in love with you, just as much as I was that night, and just as much as I always have been.”

Chloe wasn’t sure what was going on. She wasn’t sure if she had already entered the elevator, and she was there sobbing on the floor, having some sick vision of him forced upon her by her deepest and darkest thoughts. The ones that ate at her every night he was away. She wasn’t sure if the air was actually getting thick, or if she was just having trouble recycling the air back up from her lungs. She wasn’t sure if the lights were dimming around his body like a halo, or if her vision was just getting blurry. She wasn’t sure about anything, but of the words he spoke. They were loud to her, like he’d spoken them through a wire embedded directly into her ear canal. She blinked twice, she had to. She had to make sure that if she did close her eyes, he’d still be there. He was.

“Chloe, I love you.”

She didn’t know what else to do but nod her head. Like the information had finally processed in her brain and made a beeline straight to her heart. The same heart that felt like it was sinking into her stomach a minute ago began to beat, and with each beat it rose in her chest, like she was being revived. Her hands fidgeted, just itching to touch him again. She nodded again.

He just nodded back, same big brown eyes. It was like they were confirming something. Like their souls had a whole separate conversation they were unaware of, but forced them to feel the consequences.

Chloe wasn’t sure if someone had came up behind her and pushed her towards him, if her feet moved themselves, or if Lucifer had moved towards her, but they somehow ended up together. Their bodies smashed together hard, one of his hands grasping the back of her head immediately and the other on her waist. His lips crashed onto hers, and she allowed him to sink on top of her. Her limbs shook under the weight of him as he put more and more pressure on her body. She wasn’t quite sure if she was holding him up or he was holding her. Either way, they had each other. She didn’t have much time to figure out where to place her hands, so she settled with one perched on his chest and the other on his waist, feeling the muscles move there. She felt engulfed by his warmth. By his fever-hot skin that felt so alarming, but also felt so comfortable and familiar. Like she could roll up in a ball and sit in the hot cage of his arms forever and ever. Chloe had a sudden memory of reading about the Lightbringer. About how God tasked his favorite angel to light the stars. Chloe didn’t believe it till now. Till she felt the length of his body pressed against hers so tightly, she could feel the light seep through his clothes and under hers. Her Lightbringer. She moaned at the thought of him, of how beautiful he was. How he was there in her arms. How she was in his.

Lucifer somehow gripped her even tighter at the sound she made. A small part of his conscious told him that he needed to be more careful, that he was placing too much weight on her small limbs. He moved the hand that was sitting on her waist to wrap completely around her torso. He picked her up with ease, relishing in the way her legs wrapped around his waist without hesitation. Like they were made to be there. Like their bodies were originally molded together, only complete when in place like that. Her skin was soft, malleable, and he couldn’t help but to marvel at the way it moved under his as he pressed his hand into it. Her hand that was gripping his waist was so alarming it almost stung, like a match was there. He loved it. He wanted it all over his body. Wanted her all over his body. He growled into her mouth, the beast inside of him just waiting to come up to the surface. He was afraid that the growl may’ve scared her, but she seemed too distracted to notice, nibbling at his bottom lip as her hips tried to move against him. He growled again.

His feet moved against his will, bringing them to a wall. Both of them were too disoriented to know which one, too drunk on each other. Lucifer’s hand stayed glued to the back of her head as his hips pushed her, rather hard, against the wall. Harder than he liked, but he was too busy to scold himself for it. The back of his hand hit the wall and Chloe strained her neck up against it. Her hand stayed perched on his shoulder, fingers playing with the hard muscle there. She seemed at ease, comfortable. Meanwhile Lucifer felt ravenous, like he was finally letting himself give into what he’s wanted for years. Her. Loving her. Allowing her to love him. He felt like he was going to combust.

They both released each other’s mouths at the same time, both needing to catch their breath. His lower abdomen pushed into her center and she breathed in sharply, needing to feel more of him. Their faces were so close, it felt like they were exchanging each other’s air. The taste of his whiskey dripped on her tongue. As much as she really despised the burn of his favorite alcohol, she wanted him to drip it down her throat himself in this moment. She needed to feel that burn. His burn. Chloe couldn’t wait for him any longer, she moved her head forward and claimed his tongue, shocking Lucifer but gaining a moan from him. It vibrated through her. She was entranced by the minty taste of him.

Her hands started to move on their own accord, quickly unbuttoning his shirt. As she did the top, he did the bottom, leaning his chest away so their hands could work, but keeping her locked in place with his hips. Chloe felt him, then, hard and straining underneath his pants. Butterflies danced in her lower stomach, out of excitement and pure love for the man beneath her. 

After she finally managed to push the shirt off his massive shoulders, she traveled her hands around his soft and warm skin. Fingertips gliding down his pectoral muscles, squeezing the beautiful muscles of his abdomen. They moved to his back, first running up and down the smooth area of his lower back, and then up to his shoulders. As she was grasping the musecles underneath there, she felt two large bumps. Like there were bones where there shouldn’t have been bones. She felt him jerk in her arms.

Chloe released his mouth as she realized what they were. His wings. It was the same spot with the scars she touched all those years. Chloe could never forget the terrified and cold look in his eyes, the way he moved so quickly and grabbed her hand. The way his voice was raw when he asked her to stop.

She froze, she didn’t even breathe, worried that she just ruined everything. She looked into his eyes, hoping that hers were conveying some sort of apology.

He was looking back into hers, but instead of the fear she was expecting, they were filled with love. With complete adoration for her. He gently took his hand and grabbed her arm away from his chest where it was hiding. He moved it slowly back behind him, placing it on his skin right above where his wings remain. He did the same with her other hand. There were no words for Chloe to describe the way he looked at her in that moment. It was with complete awe. She wondered if that was the way he looked at the first star he bloomed out of the darkness. If she were to ask him that, he would say it was even more mesmerizing than that. He would say that the stars did nothing for him in comparison to her. To his miracle.

She felt the wings twitch under his skin and the sudden movement made her jump. He just smiled back at her, still entranced. She cautiously continued her travels along his back, feeling the way the wings moved and contracted with the rest of his muscles. She didn’t realize it, but she was getting lost in the orbs of his eyes, letting the warm brown engulf her and take her away in an endless stream. She wanted to stay in there.

“I love you, Lucifer,” she said, one of her hands now brushing the side of his face.

The way he smiled broke her heart. It was the same way he did the night he left. Like he couldn’t believe that someone stood before him and claimed that they cared for him. It made her sick to her stomach. She needed him to know how she felt. She needed him to feel it. She had to make him feel it. For however long she was around, Chloe vowed that not a single day would go by that he didn’t know he was loved.

A single tear felt out of his eye and looked down, cheeks reddening. He hid his face on her chest, placing a kiss there. He began to lightly sob, shaking in her arms. She felt hot tears fall onto her chest and they burned, like they were able to melt beneath her skin and right into her heart. She moved her hands to his hair and rubbed her fingers against his scalp lovingly. The softness there was angelic. She imagined this is what his wings felt like.

“Shh,” she cooed at him. “I love you, I love you. Don’t cry,” she whispered into his hair.

He placed one more soft kiss to her chest and then brought his face back up to hers.

His eyes seemed brighter than before, the gold in them highlighted by redness his tears created. She felt her eyes stinging from tears now too. Lucifer couldn’t help but to kiss her one more time. His lips moved hers open slowly. Her hands cradled his face gently, like she was worried he was going to break, while his hands just rested gently against her thighs that were still hoisted onto his waist. His tongue brushed against her teeth, and then her own tongue. She tasted like the sweetest vanilla. The warmest honey. He wanted to drink it. Drink her. He wanted to be filled to the brim with her.

When the kiss was over, he gently placed his forehead against hers and she settled the back of her head against the wall. They continued to breathe each other’s air. His eyes were closed, but imagined that hers were still open, wide and blue as they usually were, staring at him.

They were.

“I love you, Chloe,” he whispered.

He felt her nod, so he opened his eyes. She was staring at him, her tears now spilling over. She had this grin on her face. A proud and happy grin. One that he would do everything in his power to keep on her face. Fuck, he was in love with her. 

He moved his hands further up her thighs to return his good grip on her as he moved them away from the wall and up the stairs to his bedroom where he could appreciate her right.

**Author's Note:**

> i really wanna make two more parts to this soooo lmk what y'all think lmao <3


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